“A part of me isn’t too sure what it really believes or knows. The other does but is too blank and static to do anything about it. Someday I’ll get it all sorted out”
I am going to be completely honest with you, I am probably one of the most disorganized people you will ever meet (At least that’s how I feel 90% of the time I am around people or working on individual things at home). I can’t for the life of my plan ahead or even get most of the things done without some obstruction getting in the way of things, be it family, my job, my unstable mental and conscious well being, or maybe my unusual obsession with Rainbow Six: Siege. For years since my High School days I kept telling myself that I need to do “something”, something to keep me going something to keep me motivated. I did run a YouTube channel for a while but one I began to become a part-time employed young man and the world of the college was in front of me, things to began to change.
I wasn’t myself and I was for the first time in my life lost.
I knew that if I kept drowning my sorrow in media and gaming nothing was going to be achieved in my life. I knew that I could not and will not keep up with my current lifestyle and I needed something to work towards, to build something, to set a foundation so that way I can keep going until I’m at a point where my mind is cleared and I can finally, for the first time in probably my whole, feel “normal” again.
That is where this site comes in. Here in this site you will find practically everything that I do. It is a place where I can settle down in this virtual world, a place where I can call home in an age where identity and finding one’s self is at risk in this ever growing nihilistic and globalized world. I am a seeker of truth, wishing to smear away the veneer of the modern world and give it something more worthwhile. While I’m still immature and feel that most of the stuff I make is merely for low-effort entertainment, jokes, memes and in-between its just one step forward into something more serious, something much more worthwhile.
So stick around if you’d like, I don’t mind. Someday this place will be replaced with something bigger and better. I believe that last statement to be true someday. In the meantime this is where I stand my ground. While I’ve always told myself that “I’ve seen better days”, a part of me still thinks my best days are yet to come.